Deep Underground with Raul Groom

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

There's an Utne article right now called "Blogging Ruined My Life." I'm approaching that today, I think. This will be the last post. Really.

While I was gone, the White House Press Briefing returned in all of its weird glory. Take a look at Scottie Mac getting freaking clobbered over the al Qaeda/Saddam link. Just priceless. It's like somebody suddenly turned on the WHPC's brains.

Unfortunately no one quite gets to the real meat of the dumbness of what McClellan is saying, which is that all countries that are enemies of the U.S. are working with al Qaeda by definition, and presumably, working with one another. So, like, Cuba is allied with Iran? Wait, or maybe Iran is our friend now? No? Enemy still? Just checking. So Iran and Cuba are tight. Cool. Also North Korea and Venezuela. Kim Jon Il and Chavez are hanging out all the time, eating dim sum and tostones together. They're inviting bin Laden over; he's ordering the stripper on his cell phone on the way to the crib. The sad thing is, conservatives reading this (I know there are a few of you) don't see this as ridiculous. To them, all the enemies of America are part of a big global conspiracy to snuff us out, hanging out on COBRA island cackling maniacally. Only George W. Bush can protect us from this disjointed, impoverished, no-air-force-having horde of subsistence farmers and factory workers poised to destroy the earth.

Am I satirizing the right-wing position yet? No? Still just restating it verbatim? I give up.


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